Thursday, March 30, 2006

Ctrl+Alt+Del....

She was trying to do something.. was trying to concentrate on work so hard.. yet got stuck n she pressed ctrl+alt+del... and a new beginning again.. she compiled a program and a bug came up... she fixed it n compiled again... its running perfectly... staring on the screen lost in her own world... thinking how wonderful it'll be if everything can be erased by ctrl/alt/del in life... or every mistake can be fixed as they never exist before... but no... life is not a computer screen... u cant erase memories with just pressing some keys... small small things in everyday life reminds u of your dear ones... how long anyone can run.. u cant forget mistakes which left a scar on hearts of love ones.. its so easy to fix software coding but its very tough to fix yr deeds in real life... aadmi jo kehta hai... aadmi jo sunta hai... zindgi bhar vahi sadaye uska peecha karti hai..

All lost in herself she was driving back home... stopping at green lights n bunking red lights.. she was so disturbed that her brain just stopped working... she came to senses when ppl honked her... tears rolled down her cheeks... she reached home n sat for a while.. thinking where her life is going... seems as she is loosing control over everything... she was never like this... she used to be ever smiling chirpy gal... she used to enjoy every moment of life in her own way... but one wrong decision at wrong time n here she is.. all soaked in tears n confusion... nobody's fault... its all result of her own immature deeds... she hurt him so much.. he to whom she loves most.. for whom she passed so many nights in eyes.. she cant see him sad still she made him cry so many times... he for whom she is so possessive n gets jealous whenever he takes interest in any other gal...

She was loving him more n more with each passing night... dreams were there.. hopes were alive yet the castle was made on sand without any solid land... thats what frustates him... he was waiting to hug her tight throughout the life.. she wanted that too but couldnt make a move... he waited for some more time.. but life cant go on like this.. if u cant be together then u have to seperate paths.. so she decided to move on.. its not the first time she thought this... but everytime she thinks to leave him... her world stands still.. thought of not having him on her side every morning breaks her down.. she care for him so much that always find excuses to stay... yes love makes her selfish... love makes her weak...

But she cant do this to him anymore... she has to choose either take right turn or take a U turn n go back from where she came.. he wants to break this spell of her charm now.. yet fails every time.. coz he loves her so much.. n love makes him weak too.. he cared for her so much.. just like as she was his baby.. made her giggle.. wiped her tears.. hugged her tight.. forgiven her with smile.. yet that love is changing into frustation n that into hate... she is scared she knows she wont be able to take his hate.. wtr she did but one thing is true she loves him so much... ache bure ko hum kya jane.. jobhi kiya tere liye kiya.. lakh ho hum sharminda ..rahe magar pyaar sada zinda.. he started making new friends.. reaching out to new ppl... she is happy for him... and she thinks its the right time to move on... or its the time when she dont have any other excuse to stay back...
So with tears in eyes n heart breaking to pieces she decides to say Goodbye and not to turn back this time...
She hugged her pillow tight which is still so cold n wet after taking bath in tears rain last night...
I will remember you..
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by..
Weep not for the memories..
I’m so tired but I can’t sleep..
Standin’ on the edge of something much too deep..
It’s funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word..
We are screaming inside, but we can’t be heard..
 
posted by faith at 10:45 AM, | 1 comments
Monday, March 27, 2006

Sleep baby sleep...

I hate when system downs on friday... generally it means weekend gone specially when a big release coming ..damn i worked till 4am on friday nite.. n then again full day on saturday.. n then was stuck in loop of thoughts so didnt sleep in night again... sunday a boring day.. went in missing smone... calling home.. little cleaning n lots n lots of thinking n thinking..... i think i need some rest now... yawnnn.... tomorrow is monday... ufff monday... means a moody day... hope u all had a beautiful weekend... n hv a nice week ahead ...

surmayi ankhiyo mei...nanha munna ek sapna deja re..
chupke se aaja neendiya re...


 
posted by faith at 12:12 PM, | 1 comments
Thursday, March 23, 2006

Mere khawabo mei jo aaye....


Tagged by pinks . Search of perrrfect dream lover/man/boi wtr....
Rules of the game:
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
2. Need to mention the sex of the target
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave the comment on their comment boxes saying they have been tagged.
4. If tagged the 2nd time, there is no need to post again.

so my 8 point someone is....
Target: Male...

1.. He sh be little organize (cant expect much frm guys na) plz put things back at their place... messy home can never be comfortable for anyone n mornings can be horrible then :P

2.. Should love his parents more than me.. its my thinking that one who cant love his parents n family most ..how can love smone else who he knows only for sm days... u dont have to agree on this :P

3.. Should not flirt around with gals... grrrrr.. i know difference between friendship n flirting :P n i surely dont need any kishan kanahiya for myself :P iam a possessive gal... cant help it...

4.. Should not expect that i know whats going on in world or in each n every news paper n news site... sorry!! me a nerd... n my world is in my work n my dear ones.. if i can do smthing to add a smile in their day today life thats enuff for me... i dont care for rest...

5.. Be ready to help in chores... including cooking n laundry.... there are days when i get stuck at work for late nights n i dont want to see u sitting in front of tv n waiting when i'll come n cook or with take out in hands... plz cook smthing for dinner 1st n then watch tv happily...

6.. Be ready to deal with my mood swings.. iam a hell moody gal.. can cry like a baby this minute n will smile n giggle next... dont forget to tell i love u as many times as u can... :P

7.. Should enjoy stealing small small moments of romance n surprises ..from daily routine... n sh be creatively passionate ..ooo la la..

8.. Should let me sleep like a baby on weekends... oh ye me big sleepy head n lazy gal on weekends... sleep n let sleep plzz *smiles*

Other defaults are loving caring intelligent ... .... ...... ooops lets stop here...
 
posted by faith at 10:42 AM, | 8 comments
Tuesday, March 21, 2006

....


When i close my eyes.. i see only u..
when i open my eyes.. i long to see u..
i know u are not here..
even then i feel u everywhere..
every second.. every minute..
i miss u.. more..
call it love.. madness.. or just my heartbeats..
i want to scream..
i love u.. love u.. love u..
lot of people loved before..
but my love stands apart from all..
coz they dont have you..
i cant let u go..
i dont want to let u go..
you are mine..
and iam yours..
no one else can come between us..
yet fate has different plans for us..
so i have to let u go..
and move on with life..
all i want to see is..
your smile..
though with u.. i'd like to be forever..
but think time has come..
to walk our seperate ways..
wish u enough of all i have..
we'll be together forever..
in my heart..
....
Vo afsana jise anjaam tak lana na ho mumkin..
ek khoobsurat mod pe chodna aacha..
These lines look beautiful in listening or reading.. but is it really possible.. can any turn be khoobsurat by any chance when u leaving the person u love most.. i dont think so...
The worst way to miss someone is.. when they are right beside u..
and u know you cant have them...
And when u cant be with them... u have to let them go... yes, its the most difficult thing to do... but u have to do it.. not for yrself but for your love..
 
posted by faith at 5:34 AM, | 2 comments
Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Chweet....


Smone mailed this to me.. enjoy!!

She was out walking with her 4 year old girl.
Girl picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth.
She took the item away from her and asked her not to do that.
"Why?" her daughter asked.
"Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" she replied.
At this point, her daughter looked at her with total admiration and asked,"Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"
"Uh," ...she was thinking quickly,"All moms know this stuff. It's on theMommy Test.
You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy.
"they walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but girl was evidently pondering this new information."
OH...I get it!" girl beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy."
"Exactly" she replied back with a big smile on her face and joy in her heart.

Smart gal ha.... *smiles*
 
posted by faith at 5:17 AM, | 11 comments
Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Who cares....


No one understands ...no one cares... no one loves.. no one miss.. world is full of fake emotions n feelings... I HATE IT... i dont know what to believe n what not... iam lost n sad n ...donno :(

when u smile world smiles with you.. when u cry.. u cry alone.... its so true.. no one stops over to wipe your tears.. everyone is busy in their own world.. and when u show up.. oh i missed you... where were you... awww really? missed me?? mmmm donno... why dont i feel it:(


In a bad mood.. had a bad weekend ..fever cold cough n what not :(
 
posted by faith at 12:42 AM, | 2 comments
Wednesday, March 08, 2006

He is mine....

This is mine... he is mine.. we often say these lines may be not openly but within ourselves.. ..oh ye... iam talking about possessiveness.. i just cant stop being possessive for my love ones ... doesnt matter how hard i try not to be ..i always fail miserably :( till date am unable to find the cause for it.. well! to be true i always used to wonder why people get so possessive for smone till i wasnt in love ..but now i think i top the list .. hehe.. they say when u love someone its justified to get little possessive for that person... but how much?? a bit.. a byte or wht? how to decide that amount.. and how can u measure it? mmm according to me if lack of it can give an impression as i dont care at all.. then excess of possessiveness can be a threat to r'ship too coz after certain limit u start suffocating yr partners personal space.. a space which is most important for an individual n for an everlasting r'ship ..well.. doesnt matter how little or much it is.. but it hurts for sure... wow!! amazing i understand everything but still i cant change myself.. ye think its really hard to change sm basic things within u:( ...if u'll ask me how much i can be possessive .. i'll say if its in my hand i'll hide him behind seven curtains... heheh..kidding.. but i do follow this trend at times that whts mine is mine rest can go to world's charity ..i dont mind :P
love.. hate.. jealousy.. kindness.. possessiveness.. all these feelings exists in all of us... coz we r humans.. but excess of everything is bad... so we have to set the limits somewhere ..but how??
 
posted by faith at 11:35 AM, | 7 comments
Sunday, March 05, 2006

Darkness....

Ye andhere hame raas aane lage jinme saaya bhi apna dikhayi na de...

yes, i love darkness.. its the best friend of mine these days... coz it hides so many secrets of ours in her arms.. when u cant stop tears falling from eyes then this darkness of night huggz them tite n hides them from everyone.. when u just want to be yrself then she hides yr own shadow in her lap.. when u need someone to hear you she gives you a forever friend to listen who can never let you down..THE MOON :) i donno how many sleepless nights i hv passed in talking with this friend of mine who never gets tired of smiling at me frm outside my window.. when u want to run away from this world then this darkness takes you for a ride... beyond the clouds ..beyond the stars.. shows you beautiful world to cheer you up.. to give u a ray of hope.. gives u courage to get up in the morning with smile .. AGAIN..
aadhaa hain chandrmaa.. raat aadhee..
rah naa jaaye teree meree baat aadhee.. mulakaat aadhi..
aas kab tak rahegee adhooree.. pyaas hogee naheen kyaa ye pooree..
pyaasaa pyaasaa pawan.. pyaasaa pyaasaa gagan..
pyaase taaron kee bhee hain baaraat aadhee..
soor aadhaa hee shyaam ne saadhaa.. rahaa raadhaa kaa pyaar bhee aadhaa..
nain aadhe khile.. honthh aadhe hile..
rahee man mein milan kee wo baat aadhee...
 
posted by faith at 1:45 AM, | 2 comments
Friday, March 03, 2006

Lost....

Manzile apni jagah hai... raste apni jagah... jab kadam hi saath na de ..to koi kya kare...

Sometimes in life it happens when u know whats best for you and what you want in your life... still u cant have it... your life is right there in front of you with open arms to embrace you even then you cant move one single step towards it... y??? why we always hurt most to whom we love most...y???

aaj hai kuch aise jagah meri zindgi... ki mere apne mere hone ki nishani mange...
 
posted by faith at 3:45 AM, | 2 comments
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